“As successful as it may seem I am at this point in my life I don’t know where I’m headed to in fact I have never been more confused about life as I am at this very moment”. “This can never go into print” Ronke whispered to the interviewer a columnist with a popular newspaper in the country.

This came as a shock even to me as I said it, if it ever went into print it would break the perfect world which I have built over the years for myself and my somewhat over a million active followers. I had the perfect house, husband, and my kids once featured on ebony kids. They are beyond adorable. My world was to many a fairy tale. what could be the problem here? Why the constant nagging thought that I wasn’t doing enough? I am not an unhappy woman but I wanted more out of my life….I wanted to actually live and impact it wasn’t enough to be just the next woman on the walkway.

These qualities are not limited and should not be stringent in our lives.

During my quest, I took upon myself to research and study about different personalities and traits of highly purposeful women and found out that in summary, it takes the grace of God to come to a certain level of fulfillment to find peace. To do this you need to have some qualities.

You should understand that ultimately seeking and finding what works for you will always be the best when it comes to serving individually its purpose. You might already be practicing unconsciously some of these qualities or sometimes be inconsistent in your resolve. We need to daily remind ourselves that the goal here is self-improvement which is accompanied by enjoying our journey as much as we can.
We can be women of impact in different areas of our lives if we can cultivate this seemingly fulfilling attitude or what some may call qualities:

  1. Authenticity: shocked I am using this as the first quality right? Before I used to think faith as the overall reason behind our existence then I found that it actually is. It’s already there lurking, waiting deep beneath the surface. Now we exercise our faith in God (supreme being) by trusting that he has given us all we need to manifest and be who we really are. This some refer to as “reaching the core of our authentic self’ My friend one day asked me over the phone” what are you really afraid of?” I told him I was scared of living someone else’s reality. The fact that the world makes it so easy keeps me up, constantly evaluating, making sure that after all said and done I am still going where I want to and not where someone else maybe family or friends wants me to. For that is where you can make a pure and positive impact.
  2. Passion and purpose: I call this the P&P effect. What drives you? What is it that fuels your spirit once its thought crosses your mind. Now that is something you are passionate about. Find that which drives and moves you most and light the fire burning inside of you and as much as you can leave it that way. It’s totally ok to sometimes feel as though that fire is about to be snuffed out by an unseen element. It is your ability to come right back into the track that counts.
  3. Confidence: this is a total belief in oneself, trusting you not just for what other people say but for who you know you are. This quality allows your worth and value scream even without you ever opening your mouth to talk or introduce it yourself. Some of us are well grounded in it during the earlier stages of our lives while for some this trait needs to be learned and integrated into our daily lives. So many mistakes this human quality as pride, there is a clear-cut difference between the two. It is however very easy for your honest confidence to slip into pride. The above-listed qualities are just to help you grow effectively into who you truly are as a woman. Apart from these, you should be persistence and ever ready to evolve when trends change. This comes with a healthy amount of flexibility. By all means, as much as you can have an optimistic approach towards issues as they come your way and by the way hun, it’s ok to accept and seek support from others.

When in doubt, finding what works for you becomes almost a herculean task, remember that the answer you are looking for lies within. Cheers.

Child Abuse



  1. It’s important for us to work towards being everything God has called us to be. And it may come as a shock to some the extent He plans to use us. I love this quote from your post, “it takes the grace of God to come to a certain level of fulfillment to find peace.” YES!! Anything we accomplish is by Him, through Him and for Him. This keeps our confidence firmly rooted in Him and not in our own effort, which is pride. Excellent post.

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