FORGETTING YOU (Episode 12)
“Kiss me locs” she pleaded for the third time and I’m at a loss.
I really want to kiss her but not like this.
Not in such a situation.
We have a lot to talk about.
Like her telling me who she was running away from.
And who her husband or boyfriend is.
That thought just feels like my chest is being stabbed continuously.
I also have to talk to her about her addiction.
Maybe I could find a rehabilitation center for her.
I sighed and pulled away from her hold, missing her warmth and closeness immediately.
She frowns up at me.
“You don’t like me too,” she said, fidgeting with her fingers.
It’s my turn to frown
She shrugs “Even you are rejecting me. They all do. No one wants me because they say I’m impure and messed up.”
“Hey” I lifted her chin with my fingers and she looked up at me with watery eyes.
“Oh, Hailey. Come here”
I pulled her to me and she leaned into me, wrapping her arms around my torso, her face buried in my chest.
I kissed her hair, stroking gently.
“Anyone who rejects someone because they think they are impure or broken is a fool. We all are messed up one way or the other Hails” she hummed against my chest, holding me tighter.
She feels so tiny in my arms and I suddenly had this indescribable need to protect her.
“No one is perfect Hails. You won’t believe it if I told you I walked out of the church in the middle of my wedding ceremony yesterday”
At that, Hailey suddenly pulled away and peered at me with surprise.
“Why would you do that locs!”.
“I mean imagine the waste of Money to prepare everything. The decorations, food, jewelry, wedding gown. Oh my God! Such a waste!” She gasps dramatically.
I grinned at her.
I told her about me walking out of my wedding ceremony and all she could think of was the decorations and wedding gown.
“Well, it was forced upon me. And I wasn’t ready to get tied down to some stranger all in the name of business”
“Aww” she pouts “such a pity”
“Are you feeling pity for me or you’re feeling pity for all the wasted food, jewelry, wedding gown, reception, honeymoon and all?”
She blushed instantly
“Well.. It must be nice. I mean it’s every woman’s dream. To walk down the aisle in the gown she chose herself. Go on a honeymoon and all”
“Well is that your dream too?” I asked and she nods eagerly.
“Yes. Someday. One day”
One day Hailey I would give you all that if you let me.
Hell! I would give her so much more.
“Someday” I repeated and she yawned.
“I just woke up right? Yet I feel so….” She yawned again.
“Come here” I spread out my arms and she eagerly leaned into me,resting her head on my chest as she curls up into a ball.
I don’t know what kind of relationship is between us, but whatever it is, I like it and I don’t want it to ever end.
She yawned again and I tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear.
“Sleep pretty lady” I coed and she snuggled closer.
“I like it when you call me that. Don’t stop” she whispered.
“I never planned on stopping,” I said and when I got no reply, I peered into her face to find her asleep.
I sighed contentedly watching both her and baby Olivia sleep.
A WEEK LATER.
“Can I come in now Hailey?”
“No! A minute!” She yelled back and I groaned.
“You’ve been saying that for twenty minutes straight now!” I yelled from behind the door, where I’m currently standing.
“Well, it’s not my fault Olivia is super hungry today!” She yelled back.
I mean come on!
Why can’t she just let me in while she breastfeeds Olivia.
It’s not as if I’m going to stare at her bre*sts.
Well, I may just look at it a little bit but you can’t blame me.
I’m a man after all and she’s quite attractive.
She’s locked me up in the kitchen for twenty minutes now and she won’t let me out untill she’s done breatfeeding Olivia and surprisingly Olivia chose today of all days to spend so many minutes eating. She usually doesn’t drink milk for so long.
“Come on Hailey!” I whined.
The door suddenly opened and Hailey was staring at me grinning mischievously as she cradles Olivia in her arms..
“Talk to your mom little one. She locked me up in here” I said to the baby and she stared at me blankly with eyes just like her mother.
“Guess you don’t like me too huh?” I made a face wiggling my eyebrows and Olivia’s lips twitched into a huge smile as she grabs my thumb with her entire hand.
“May I?” I asked Hailey who willingly placed Olivia in my arms. She giggled as I rocked her.
“Sorry for locking you up in your own house.” Hailey told me as she stepped aside for me to enter.
“Not a problem” I grinned at baby Olivia who was eagerly pulling my thumb into her toothless mouth to suck..
Oh well, guess she wasn’t satisfied with her mother’s milk.
“You wanted to talk?” Hailey asked and I nod, suddenly recalling why i wanted to speak with her.
I follow her further into the room and sat beside her ,balancing Olivia on my shoulder as I burp her. I read it’s always advisable to burp a baby after they eat. So I rubbed Olivia’s back softly and she bulged slightly. Good sign.
“Oh yeah right. Umm, give me a minute” I got up and continued to burp Olivia on my shoulders and several minutes later, I felt her steady breaths. Well,I don’t blame her for sleeping early. It’s past 7pm.
I rocked her more before placing her in the cot. I turned on the oxygen supply and placed the mask over her face.
I sighed and turned to Hailey who looked slightly uncomfortable. She scratched her head and stopped.
I frowned. What’s wrong?
“Umm.. I.. Ugh. I wanted to ask about Olivia’s dad. Your husband..”
“I’m not married” she cuts in quickly
“I don’t have a boyfriend either. I’m single” she adds and I nod slightly relieved at the fact that she’s single. But who’s Olivia’s dad then?
I wanted to ask but she looked like she wasn’t going to answer if I asked so I let it slide. For now.
I sat beside her and took her hands in mine.
Her hand was shaking, I noticed.
She nods frantically.
“Okay. Well I’ve been meaning to talk to you about uhh…Your addiction.” I paused and stared at her for any reaction but I got none so I continued.
“I was making a few enquiries and I found a few good rehabilitation centers for drug addicts. And I wanted you to join to make you a better person, for you and your daughter. We can’t have you transferring an illness to Olivia do we? I read on the internet that a a drug addicted mother can pass the addiction to her baby through breastfeeding. It might even affect the child’s ability to start talking at the normal age. You don’t want that do you?”
She shook her head no but didn’t reply. I could feel her hands shaking in mine. Hailey suddenly pulled away getting up,scratching her head.
I stared at her for a moment before realisation hits me.
She’s in need of drugs. No.
I’m not allowing her to go back to that life.
“Hailey listen. Calm down” I began but she pushed me back violently and kept scratching. Her hands were shaking.
Hailey began to walk towards the door and my eyes widen.. In such a situation she will do anything to get the drugs.
“Hailey” I tried once more but she pushed me back again and burst out of he door into the cold weather, ignoring my pleas as I ran after her.
She was running as fast as her legs could carry her blocking out Jason’s screams. She needed more drugs else she will go mad. A week. A whole week without cocaine was like fasting for a week without food or water. She ran faster now, scratching her head, her fingers shaking vigorously now. There was only one place to get the drugs to calm her down. It was the place she had been running away from. Her demons.
The middle aged man stood at the balcony of his mansion puffing out smoke from his cigarette when he spotted her running like a mad woman into his mansion.
He suddenly smiled.
“I knew you will come Hailey. No matter how long you run, you’ll always come back because you need these drugs to survive.” He smirks cynically as he watched Hailey run crazily into his mansion away from her daughter. Maybe, never to return.