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Dear Thelma,
I know the first time he left, you curled up in your bed and cried. You saw your world falling in your eyes. You missed the way he laughed, the words he says, the kisses and  the hugs. This was two years ago yet the pain still burns bright.
Yesterday, you bumped into him  at the mall. He was with another girl. A taller, prettier girl who spoke with a sweet accent. Your heart flipped over and jealousy burnt at the base of your core. Yet  you held firm  smiling as you greeted him. You responded to his questions with a light laughter you didn’t feel inside. That night, you got home and cried again. Wishing you could turn back the hands of time.
Your life is still  stick stuck in yesterday. You are living in a phase that has long faded. How many times have you lured him back? How many times has he slept with you and still put up the friendship zone banner? How many times have you searched for him in the eyes of other guys you meet?
Why have you given the keys of your heart to someone who doesn’t cherish it? When will you be bold enough to to take back control? When will realize that you are enough? He does not make you whole. You make you whole. Your heart is beating in your chest. Your brain is there in your head. You are in possession of these organs. You are also in full control of them  not him. Stop giving him that power over you.
Learn to push out anyone who does not deserve to be in your life. Take back your power. Take back control. Take back the steering  wheel of your ship. Let go of the past. No more regrets. No more tears. No more aches. Just breathe in today. Rejoice at the new day. Find parts of you you’ve scattered in the sea. Piece them back together. Become whole again. Enjoy your own company again. Let go of the pain and envy. Wish him and his new girlfriend well. Believe better things will come to you. Take pleasure in yourself. Be your own best friend. Take full control of your heart.
Find love again. Build again. Make the new person worthy of you. No rebound sex. Respect yourself enough. Nurture your relationship. Don’t be quick to give away part of you. Be slow. Be wise. Be smart.
Your best ally here is you. You are the one you can trust 100%. Until that man who proves he is your soul mate comes, be aloof. Stop delivering your heart to men who would shatter it and leave you broken.
Today is for you, Thelma.  Feel the strength you have inside. You are so over that ex and you know it. You have been all along, you just didn’t realize it. No one who isn’t worth it should dwell in your head rent free.
Stand tall, girl. Be strong. There is not fragility in womanhood. Reset your priorities. Channel your energy on your goals.
The future awaits that girl who is brave and has full control over her emotions.
With love,
Chioma Ngaikedi.

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