Torture

By Alveena

I love you
No but I don’t love you
Or I just like you
Love is probably not healthy for us,
Maybe it’s torture

For we can never exhaust it if it were a data subscription
We can’t squander it completely if it were wealth
It tortures like the effect of sugar and diabetes
It’s very sweet but when consumed excessively, you’d get a diabetes they said
Sitting close to you, I’d look your way, calling unto your spirit and heart to look back at me. Your heart would hear my voice and look back at me warmly.
We look at each other for quiet a while, saying not even a word nor wink while our hearts already had a conversation that would write volumes of book.
As our eyes part ways, our heart is satisfied with the conversation we had and we’d smile in satisfaction.

Sometimes I’d keep looking as you walk past me, my eyes stays glued and steady on you like the eyes of images on a billboard.
It doesn’t blink nor deviate, just steady following every step of the way
The more the silents, the more the volumes of books written in our heart, the more the flames burn and consumes us and the demons of the emotions we try and work really hard to supress procreates and bring forth young ones that grow into giants to form legions in our heart.

The thickness of your manhood I could see in my heart stiffens and gets stronger and harder and the wetness in between my thighs soak like the wetness of a molten ice dripping down my tight that my panty liner and extra padding can’t hold the dripping
I hear the walls of my vag***na crying out and calling out to your firm filling and the tearing and gushing of my wetness calls for your balls to wipe her tears away.

But then, I can’t have you
I can only borrow
And then, I can’t just lend me to you for I’m not my own and you are not your own either.
Or shall it be a union of lenders?
What if we can’t give back what we lent ourselves? Are we going to be debtors to our selves?
Does it mean we both keep back and live with what we borrowed from each other and never give it back?

And if our owners asks and looks for us, what is it going to look like? What shall we say?
Will they turn out to be union of the owners?
Unhealthy
What if love is unhealthy?
What if we are unhealthy?
Poison
What if we’re poison?
What if we’re meant to destroy ourselves?
What if we’re meant to destroy just one of us?
Bomb

What if we’re meant to blow up ourselves apart?
What if we’re meant to blow up everything?
What if we’re meant to blow up the worldand live there alone?
What if not?
But then, how unhealthy can our love be? How unhealthy can liking be?
Unhealthy enough to make us sick of ourselves?
Unhealthy enough that we just have to be close to each other as possible for we are each others medicine and can’t live without each other?
How poisonous can we be? How poisonous can it be?

Poisonous enough to destroy our enemies and haters?
Poisonous enough to destroy ourselves with our fierce passion for each other?
Or poisonous enough to destroy me because already I have taken an overdose of your venom in place of my drugs for fast and swift recovery.
Maybe it wasn’t even an overdose, just that my system is vulnerable to your venom and has a very functional metabolism that maximizes every effect.
Love is making promise with someone’s heart when it is been pronounced.

I haven’t even made the pronouncement and is hurting, does it mean I was about making the promise with my own heart instead?
Or is it because I feel it takes my heart to do both the loving and the promise.
Or is it hurting cause I can’t imagine you paying it forward to me? Or cause I know you’d never make same pronouncement nor make the promises?
I like you.

Falling for Innocence

Will that make me any less my feelings, passion and burning desires?
Will it make us strangers to ourselves?
Like we’ve never met before
While our cravings are very familiar with each other the way the punishment can always locate the vag***ina even in the dark.

Alveena is a sensational poet and writer, she has authored lots of poems and still counting, a nigerian and student of anatomy unizik.

1 COMMENT

What are your thoughts? Join the discussion...

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.