There are different people who have different behavioral patterns. Some strive at perfection, some just do it, some are nonchalant, some live as they see it. All these traits have their good/bad/ugly.

However, perfectionists tend to be in more danger than the rest. They want to be flawless, they want to do everything perfectly, from a perfect lifestyle to a perfect look, fitness, job, personality and the problem arises when they fail in the process, they resort to self-harm and develop a high level of insecurity.

On the outside, they smile and pretend but they die inside when they look at others and realize that they’re not at peace with either the level of success their peers have achieved or the bar they set for themselves.

This development of insecurity most times develops further into depression and self-harm. You hear about suicides, people turning to monsters, it started like this. Most times insecurity is not self-driven, something or someone may have triggered it. Some popular external causes of all insecurity are Parents, friends, lovers.

Read also: Toxicity

Parents want the best for their wards but sometimes they push them past the normal limit, they make them become robots reading only for reading sake, some parents are so purpose driven that they choose or influence the choice of spouse for their children and most often than not it fails.

Research shows that some broken homes are caused by incompatibility by both partners because of the influence of the parents of either or both parties. Parents should encourage their children to be the best they can not laud their will on them because when these children can’t meet the set standard, they become insecure believing that they are failures.

Another external influence is friends/lovers. Most times you want to be like your friends, to do the things they do and when you realize that it’s not working out you start feeling inferior. You enter a relationship and you’re not in tune with your lover, both of you speak different languages, you want different things and he/she makes you feel like you’re worthless or not enough, eventually, you start feeling insecure.

Any friendship that does not allow you to be flexible is not good for your mental health. Everyone is uniquely created, set your own goals and be aware of the word failure. People fail to learn. Insecurity is dangerous. Escalate your confidence level and glow it out.

Written by Ada Iloka


  1. […] Read: INSECURITY […]

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