There are many times we want to do something, most times, something out of the ordinary but… the fear of what the society might say about such acts stops us in our tracks.
A girl meets a guy whose face makes a dozen butterflies flutter in her tummy but… she can’t express her feelings lest they call her ‘cheap’.
A young girl dreams big and wants to change the world with her ideas but society tells her that a woman’s first duty is to take care of her children and family.
A young lady is still single at a certain age like thirty, you can see her family practically forcing her to go get a man. They keep mounting pressures from all angle. It doesn’t matter if she made the wrong choice, neither does it matter if she is unhappy in the relationship as long as she brings a man home.
The same way, they pester the young men… ‘You have a job, go get married, I need to carry my grandchildren before I die’ What are you waiting for?
With all this pressure, young people are pushed into making a lifelong mistake.
When such union fails. The girl is still blamed that she can’t stay married and the guy is blamed that he doesn’t know how to marry a woman.
A guy goes through a painful and heartbreaking experience but… he is told not to cry. Society says ‘men don’t cry’. Tears are for the weak. For them, only women cry because they are the weaker sex.
A guy meets a lovely lady whom he is sure is his soulmate but… he backs down from the marriage because the girl is an Osu(outcast).
You may say this was abolished a long time ago but surprisingly in some parts of Igbo land it’s still practiced(discreetly)
A young man tries and works hard, looking for a legitimate way to make money but he is mocked and called ‘a pauper’. When he decides to take his fate into his own hands and join the ‘others’ in their business he is cursed and told he has no conscience.
How many times have you let this societal imposed values keep you down? How many times have you allowed the fear of being judged ruin your happiness?
Plenty of times I’m sure.
Do you think things have changed? Do you really believe the words you hear everyday… ‘yes, it’s the twenty-first century, more women are given opportunity, encouraged to express themselves better’
Well, if you do not know, allow me to inform you that most times when we read those messages or listen to the few great women who are on the path of making greatness, we admire them, we post their pictures on our status as Woman Crush Wednesday (WCW) but we fail to implement their words in our home.
I’m not trying to monopolize this topic to women or ladies but… we all know that women are still greatly marginalized in the society despite the tiny changes(massive change is what they need rather)
Trying to fit in, to live up to the society’s expectations hasn’t helped anyone rather pushed many to make mistakes. With all the glitz and glamour of social media, young people especially girls are pushed into prostitution, stealing and other vices in order to be like ‘others’ to meet up.
Dear, Young person, the great news is that you don’t have to impress anyone, not even your family members. So live according to your means. Work hard for what you want, don’t steal it. Be you, express yourself without fear.
Moreover, when you meet that one you love, walk up boldly to him and disclose your feelings. It doesn’t make you cheap rather it portrays you as a woman who has a mind of her own and capable of making her own decisions.
Hello young man, when you are down and feel like crying, let those tears spill, it doesn’t make you weak rather it makes you a human, capable of emotions.
For once, can you forget what society will think? Take that bold step today. Do those things you have always wanted to do. Life is short. Live it while you can. Do your best, be you. Make exploits….
Just live and breathe!
Life of a Strong Black girl
Modester Chinonyelum Alo