AND THE BRAIN BEGS
No matter the kind of superman or superwoman you think you are, there is a time in your life when you meet someone that make your legs weak and your heart beats fast.
There is a time in our lives we think we have found ‘the one’, the one for us… the one to have the happy ever after moments with.
Sometimes that person will be the one, other times we break up and there might be other ones before the real one comes around. That’s normal, that’s life.
It doesn’t matter how long it takes us to find that one, what matters is that you eventually did.
Two persons being in love is beautiful. Love itself is a beautiful feeling. But it’s always necessary to take your brain along when going for that ride.
That moment you are head over heels in love, there is a need to allow your brain do the thinking rather than your heart.
They say love is blind (it makes one not to see the faults of the partner he is with). It is because we believe that love is blind that most people stay in an abusive relationship. When I use the term abusive relationship, don’t think it’s only women that are abused in relationships, men also are abused. Though women make up the most percentage.
It is because of this fallacy that men stay with energy and money draining girls because in their words, ‘I love her, love is blind, thus I can’t see those faults’ Even when it’s so obvious that they can’t keep up with that. It is this syndrome that has led many young men running into debts, simply because they want to provide for the woman they love.
I’m not saying it’s bad to take care of your woman. It’s very nice and necessary but you should do that according to your resources. A woman who loves you will definitely stay and strive to help build the relationship.
On the other hand, the ‘I love him and will make him change’ syndrome has made young, beautiful ladies pose as some men’s punching bag. You don’t expect a man to change overnight. You don’t have to keep making excuses in a relationship for a man, who redesigns your face with his fist.
It’s very much true that humans are different and difficult sometimes. Though we are encouraged to tolerate and love one another, as homo sapiens with a thinking faculty, we should know when the limit to that tolerance shows up.
It’s not compulsory you must have a romantic relationship with every guy that says ‘hi, give me your number’ out there. Neither should a guy date every girl he gets her contact. Some people should be kept as friends.
Again, there is no best formula of keeping your man or your woman than being yourself.
Most times, people pretend in other to please the one they love. They do everything they are told, even when they are not comfortable with it. The guy may stop taking alcohol and the girl may stop partying, all for the time being.
But after some time, it wears off… Thus if the person shows their main character the partner says he or she has changed.
I think the high rate of breakup and divorce today is hinged on this.
So be yourself from the beginning, show the real you and anyone who loves and understand you will stay.
It’s at the first instance that you need to think, not with your heart but your brain.
Your heart might convince you to act nice so as not to chase away your crush but your brain will help you figure it out what should be.
Moreover, most people think sex can make a relationship successful. I don’t doubt the fact that sex is part of a relationship. In fact, I think a good sexual relationship between partners, is one of the prerequisites to having a successful and beautiful relationship.
Some people fake moans and orgasms because they love their partner. This shouldn’t be so. Express yourself to your partner if you aren’t satisfied, both of you can work together to spice things up.
Forget the ‘I don’t want to hurt his ego and feelings’ line. Don’t use the ‘I love her and it’s not about the sex’ line on yourself. Use your brain, open up, talk, it will save both parties from heartbreak and regrets.
Like I said and keep saying love is beautiful. But when you find that one, keep in mind that your brain is sitting somewhere up there silently begging you to take it along as you go on that ride to happiness.
Modester Chinonyelum Alo