There are things our parents don’t know, the ones they will never get to know. There are some secrets that will die with us. They were signs, little red lights that went unnoticed which ended up messing up our adulthood. But are our parents to be blamed?
The dream of every parent is to give his or her child a better life,sometimes the kind they never had. Oftentimes however in chasing this dream we ignore the most important thing, which is the psychological and physical well-being of the children.
Seven out of every ten persons I have met where sexually abused as children, especially between the ages of four to ten. Few escaped unscarred, but most of them are damaged without getting the needed help.
Most parents leave their children with either the housemaids, neighbours, or family relatives who has better ways of taking care of the children;abuse them most times sexually, leaving us with thousands of unwholesome youths.
Good parenting is not all about providing food,purchasing the highly expected Christmas clothes,it also involves making out time for your children, establishing a close relationship with them,given the needed listening ear.
It also involves looking out for ‘the uncle who always buy lollipop, the help who has a favorite among the kids, the neighbour who always locks his door when the children are there…
A child who is always shunned whenever he wants to say something will definitely keep things to himself. A parent who is too harsh on the children only pushes them away to the arms of welcoming strangers. Give a listening ear to them and they will be free to tell you everything.
There are so many signs to look for, some may be difficult to identify without close examination. Look out for them.
Your parents might have made mistakes, be a better parent and the society will be better.
Are you among the scarred and damaged? It’s not too late to get the needed help. That you had a rough childhood doesn’t mean you should mar other children. You don’t get better by hurting others. But in helping others you heal. Do watch out for that red light…
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Modester Chinonyelum Alo