Our lifestyle contributor is sharing relationship advice on how to keep your relationship from failing. Please, read and don’t forget to let us know what you think: yay or nah? Leave your thoughts in the comment section.
Many ladies have found themselves wondering why their relationship did not work or why the guy changed his mind along the way when everything seemed perfect at the beginning and there are so many questions on their minds, especially “why did he leave?” Today, so many relationships suffer lots of problems leading to so many failed relationships and marriages.
Listed below are some of the many tips to keep your relationship form failing:
- Don’t Build Your Life Around Him: mere looking at this point I know most people would disagree cause society has made it look like once you are in a relationship he should be your all in all. But hey this is the message he gets when your life is built around him “you don’t have a life of your own” and sooner or later you will begin to care about him more than you do about yourself. You want to be sure he has eaten, taken his medications, he is in a safe place, is he fine, you ask about his every move and whoop he feels you are being too clingy. Most times that’s not your aim of checking on him several times in a day but well few months into the relationship he begins to see you as a“monitoring spirit”. Here is where the problem stems from, the way you ask him. So ladies next time you want to know how he is doing and not the conventional“have you taken your meds”why not try “how is the fever or how do u feel now” this way it shows you care but you are not trying to be his mother.
- Spend Time Away From Him: you had some good friends before you met him so why leave them now. Maintain the relationship you have built with your friends, still hang out with them (without him), have some alone time for yourself, do what you enjoy doing, go out to the mall, to the park, socialize and build your confidence that way he knows you are good to go with or without him and guess what he will want to get more of your time and attention.
- Work On Yourself: you have a new man whom you don’t mind keeping and you want him to accept the real you right. Here is the clue in as much as you don’t want to pretend to be a perfect girl before him but hey they might be a bad behaviour you got and you know it and he complains about it once or twice, girl you need to think about it and drop it off. This doesn’t work in a day but believe me men are very observant to know that something is changing in you. You don’t have to stand your ground insisting that “you are who you are and nobody can change you”. Yes, you are who you are but work on being the best version of yourself.
- Don’t Always Be Available: you get a new man and he wants all of your time “cool” but it’s just for a while. But hey you can keep that up and the best way is to keep up with your routine and be unavailable for him sometimes. Remember the keyword here is sometimes. Out of the five times he wants to see you in a week agree to 2 or 3 times (you don’t want him to get tired of you and see you as a routine). You had things you love doing wrote he came into the picture why stop doing them now? It could be baking, knitting, drawing, painting or even your evening gym class. Why break your routine its fine to ditch it once in a while but never stop doing what you love doing. This will not only make him pick interest in what you do but also make him to respect you, he will also respect what you do with time and he knows you are not just an idle woman waiting for him to call you up at anytime.
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- Keep Your Discussions Straight And Interesting: remember you just met him and you may be tempted to let him know everything about you and your family which is a big “NO”. Make you discussions straight; don’t say more than he asks you.You don’t have to tell him more than he needs to know, with time he will get to know more about you.
- Don’t Call Too Much: you may be tempted to call him now and then but it’s not necessary. Check up on him only when it’s necessary and allow him to do most of the calling.
- Don’t Try To Impress Him: in all aspects starting from your dressing, hairdo, and so on. You don’t have to wear a sexy dress to get him attracted, keep your look cool and classic, avoid passing the wrong message through your dressing and you don’t want to look desperate either.
- Keep Sex At Bay: you may have been sexually active in your previous relationship but remember this is a new one and you don’t want to let him see you as cheap, so you keep it down at least for the first few months and do not to rush anything. And to keep it that way avoid being alone in an enclosed place for a long time and avoid wearing clothes that will seduce the man.
- Don’t Be Bossy: no man wants a bossy woman around him telling him want to do and what not to do. Remember there is a line between a classy woman and a bossy lady. A classy lady knows what she wants and will not settle for less while a bossy lady tries to control a man and get him to dance to her tune, moreover no guy wants his ego to be bruised.
- Don’t Assume: ladies are good at assuming things that don’t even exist, don’t assume he is asking you out until he does, don’t assume he wants to see you before he asks you, don’t assume he is mad at you when you haven’t done anything wrong and so on. You don’t want to look stupid when it’s not what you thought. Learn to ask questions when not clear about anything or situation.
I hope I have been able to answer most of your questions on why your relationship keeps failing. Remember there is not hard and fast rule in finding and keeping a man but you have to make continuous efforts to get things right and I hope this helps. See you next time, thanks!
My name is Natema Dankaro, I am a beauty, health and lifestyle influencer and I also give relationship tips and motivational messages. Thank you.