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Relationship Advice: How To Keep Your Relationship From Failing

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Our lifestyle contributor is sharing relationship advice on how to keep your relationship from failing. Please, read and don’t forget to let us know what you think: yay or nah? Leave your thoughts in the comment section.

 

Many ladies have found themselves wondering why their relationship did not work or why the guy changed his mind along the way when everything seemed perfect at the beginning and there are so many questions on their minds, especially “why did he leave?” Today, so many relationships suffer lots of problems leading to so many failed relationships and marriages.

Listed below are some of the many tips to keep your relationship form failing:

  • Dont Build Your Life Around Him: mere looking at this point I know most people would disagree cause society has made it look like once you are in a relationship he should be your all in all. But hey this is the message he gets when your life is built around him “you don’t have a life of your own” and sooner or later you will begin to care about him more than you do about yourself. You want to be sure he has eaten, taken his medications, he is in a safe place, is he fine, you ask about his every move and whoop he feels you are being too clingy. Most times that’s not your aim of checking on him several times in a day but well few months into the relationship he begins to see you as a“monitoring spirit”. Here is where the problem stems from, the way you ask him. So ladies next time you want to know how he is doing and not the conventional“have you taken your meds”why not try “how is the fever or how do u feel now” this way it shows you care but you are not trying to be his mother.

 

  • Spend Time Away From Him: you had some good friends before you met him so why leave them now. Maintain the relationship you have built with your friends, still hang out with them (without him), have some alone time for yourself, do what you enjoy doing, go out to the mall, to the park, socialize and build your confidence that way he knows you are good to go with or without him and guess what he will want to get more of your time and attention.

 

  • Work On Yourself: you have a new man whom you don’t mind keeping and you want him to accept the real you right. Here is the clue in as much as you don’t want to pretend to be a perfect girl before him but hey they might be a bad behaviour you got and you know it and he complains about it once or twice, girl you need to think about it and drop it off. This doesn’t work in a day but believe me men are very observant to know that something is changing in you.  You don’t have to stand your ground insisting that “you are who you are and nobody can change you”. Yes, you are who you are but work on being the best version of yourself.

 

  • Dont Always Be Available: you get a new man and he wants all of your time “cool” but it’s just for a while. But hey you can keep that up and the best way is to keep up with your routine and be unavailable for him sometimes. Remember the keyword here is sometimes. Out of the five times he wants to see you in a week agree to 2 or 3 times (you don’t want him to get tired of you and see you as a routine). You had things you love doing wrote he came into the picture why stop doing them now? It could be baking, knitting, drawing, painting or even your evening gym class. Why break your routine its fine to ditch it once in a while but never stop doing what you love doing. This will not only make him pick interest in what you do but also make him to respect you, he will also respect what you do with time and he knows you are not just an idle woman waiting for him to call you up at anytime.

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  • Keep Your Discussions Straight And Interesting: remember you just met him and you may be tempted to let him know everything about you and your family which is a big “NO”. Make you discussions straight; don’t say more than he asks you.You don’t have to tell him more than he needs to know, with time he will get to know more about you.

 

  • Dont Call Too Much: you may be tempted to call him now and then but it’s not necessary. Check up on him only when it’s necessary and allow him to do most of the calling.

 

  • Dont Try To Impress Him: in all aspects starting from your dressing, hairdo, and so on. You don’t have to wear a sexy dress to get him attracted, keep your look cool and classic, avoid passing the wrong message through your dressing and you don’t want to look desperate either.

 

  • Keep Sex At Bay: you may have been sexually active in your previous relationship but remember this is a new one and you don’t want to let him see you as cheap, so you keep it down at least for the first few months and do not to rush anything. And to keep it that way avoid being alone in an enclosed place for a long time and avoid wearing clothes that will seduce the man.

 

  • Dont Be Bossy: no man wants a bossy woman around him telling him want to do and what not to do. Remember there is a line between a classy woman and a bossy lady. A classy lady knows what she wants and will not settle for less while a bossy lady tries to control a man and get him to dance to her tune, moreover no guy wants his ego to be bruised.

 

  • Dont Assume: ladies are good at assuming things that don’t even exist, don’t assume he is asking you out until he does, don’t assume he wants to see you before he asks you, don’t assume he is mad at you when you haven’t done anything wrong and so on. You don’t want to look stupid when it’s not what you thought. Learn to ask questions  when not clear about anything or situation.

I hope I have been able to answer most of your questions on why your relationship keeps failing. Remember there is not hard and fast rule in finding and keeping a man but you  have to make continuous efforts to get things right and I hope this helps. See you next time, thanks!

 

My name is Natema Dankaro, I am a beauty, health and lifestyle influencer and I also give relationship tips and motivational messages. Thank you.

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Relationships

A Match Made In Heaven 8

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A Match Made In Heaven 8

A Match Made In Heaven 8

 

Adekunle –

She’s pregnant already. Three months gone. It’s funny our marriage is just three months and she’s already three months pregnant. I can’t believe this. This holy sister was already sleeping with her lover boy even before we got married!

Women!

Well, good for her. At least, she gets to experience the total package of what being a woman entails. Life has been made easy for her. Our little secret remains a secret forever.

But wait a minute- what if the child comes out looking like her covetous lover boy. Would I be able to live with a bastard child? Would they expect me to foot the bills of this seed of theirs?

I definitely cannot send another man’s child to school! Won’t this be my loss eventually if I allow this slut to keep this baby?

What is best for all of us for her to have an abortion. I can’t treat a bastard as my child and if the child resembles the lover boy too much, her secret might be exposed. It is best she aborts. If she is so eager to have a child then we have the option of adoption.

She can’t have this baby. It’s too risky.
She’s aborting this baby, she must

 

A Match Made In Heaven 7

To be continued

Your love, now and always
Mercy Oluwafemi Adeniyi

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A Match Made In Heaven 7

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A Match Made In Heaven 7

A Match Made In Heaven 7

 

Adekunle

I’ve never been into women. How could I ever like women when I felt like a woman myself? Physically, I am not girly but I know what I know and I know I am a woman inside. I’m sure I must have been a girl but someone from my father’s village must have played a fast one on my mum when she was pregnant with me. I should have come like a girl, but life is what it is.

My dad is a pastor and there’s no way announcing my status would be easy on him and so I kept this little secret to myself.

I was thankful when I was sent abroad for my college, university degree and masters program. I was in a land where I was accepted for who I was and I was free. Then I was told to either come back to Nigeria or forfeit my inheritance. I had to come back home.

Now, dad had to add marriage again. Well, I’ll keep playing along.

Bewaji is a really cool lady but I don’t feel anything sexual towards her. I made her see reasons with me why we couldn’t get intimate and funny enough, she agreed. It turned out that this holy sister wasn’t really holy after all!

Well, it’s fine, I get to be me and she gets to be her.

Cunning man die, na cunning man bury am…

A Match Made In Heaven 6

To be continued

Your love, now and always
Mercy Oluwafemi Adeniyi

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A Match Made In Heaven 6

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A Match Made In Heaven 6

A Match Made In Heaven 6

 

Bewajimi

Adekunle told me he was a homosexual. He said he had always felt like a woman within. All his years abroad, he lived as a homosexual. He knew homosexuals were not welcomed in Nigeria and he didn’t want to come back to Nigeria but now his father had given him a condition that if he didn’t come back home, all his properties would be given to charity.

Adekunle wanted the properties and that was why he did his father’s bidding. Adekunle told me point blank that he feels like a woman and there was no way he was going to sleep with another woman–he said it didn’t feel right.

I couldn’t believe my ears. This was not what I bargained for!

I told him to excuse me after he made the confession. He apologized but I just told him to give me time.

I had time to think and I came up with the perfect plan. If Adekunle wants to continue to live as a homosexual, then I should be allowed to continue my relationship with Sojimi. I suddenly felt relaxed.

I called Adekunle and we reached a truce. He was to continue is act, while I would continue with my relationship with Sojimi. We suddenly both felt a weight taken off our shoulders.

We continued with our trip to Dubai. In Dubai, we acted as if we were siblings – no one would believe we were married as Adekunle frequently visited homosexual clubs, while I was forever on phone with the love of my life – Sojimi. I enjoyed every bit of the trip and so did Adekunle.

We came back to Nigeria and relocated to Port Harcourt. Sojimi relocated as well. My somewhat dark cloud suddenly seemed to have a silver lining…

A Match Made In Heaven 5

To be continued

Your love, now and always
Mercy Oluwafemi Adeniyi

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