When Rape Becomes The Woman’s Fault

The issue of rape has been a topic that sits at the tip of everyone’s lip in Nigeria due to how rampant the crime is spreading. Everyone is talking about it. The disgusting people who carry out such inhuman acts even make comments and everyone is quick to jump to the conclusion that the woman “the victim” is the one at fault.

Because a a lot of us think of the fallacy that a woman is a symbol of sex. I feel sad for women who have been made to go through their lives thinking that their place in life is to get married and bear children. So, fault is given to the woman that is different, to the woman that wants to go beyond being what we think we know her to be and when such disgusting act is carried out. Most Nigerians usually center the fault around.

“She was dressed like a Prostitute”

First of all, prostitutes don’t get raped they get paid for sex. There is nowhere in the world that a woman would wake up in the morning and dress up getting ready to be raped and there is no sensible man that would wake up in the morning and go out to look for a woman indecently dressed to rape her. A woman’s decency is hers and hers alone. It is not for us to judge or for us to choose as a cause for such wickedness that goes on in our society. Others would say:

“Why was she out so late?”

Don’t we feel shamed that a woman cannot walk out of her home and get something safely? Or cannot leave her place of work and get home safe? And cannot go to the mall to quickly get something? Yes, I know that we’ll come out with the excuse of even boys are not safe out so late because of kidnapping and robbery and all but all these crimes are without excuse. So why would you excuse a crime like rape because “she was out late“, why would you want to leave the fault with her. Do you leave your house at night to go look for a woman minding her own business at night to go rape her? The most disgusting has got to be

“What was she doing in his house in the first place?”

If someone says this beside me, it literally takes the grace of the almighty living God to not slap that person. A woman meets a man, she likes the  man, she trusts the man to the point of going to his house to stay. And then you take this as a sign that she wants to have sex with you. When you make a move she turns you down you proceed to push her legs apart, you proceed to devour her like an angry animal with no sense of reasoning to satisfy a penis that’s not up to the size of your brain.

the rape culture mentality in Nigeria

Image from Google

I just assume that if a man has a good sense of character, he should be able to understand at the very least the meaning of Consent. A woman trusted you to be safe with you in your house and you ignore her consent, push and force her down to take her. Still, when she comes out, cries out for help and because we are ready to be judgmental we say “What was she doing in his house in the first place?” Come on, we really need to do better.

Have you read Relationships Views: Why Many Don’t Get It Right?

Women barely speak up about this wickedness and when they do we ignore the man we forget the “He” and focus all the unnecessary attention on the “She”. Even while we claim to not judge her, we still fault her for simply being a human being that wants to wear what she wants and feel sexy.

For simply having a job working late and going home, and for trusting a man enough to accept an invite to his place. It’s so sad that we think this way of our women, we need to do better as a country. We need to talk to ourselves and stand up for women, help the ones who are going through such.

We need to say No to Rape Culture.

Funke Olotu


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