Is it not funny that many girls claim they have what it takes to make a relationship work and then when they are in one, they will flop and then keep blaming the guy for not making it work. They will treat the guy with “general” knowledge of what they know about relationships and then expect it to work. Just because you heard every guy likes something and then you go, my boyfriend must definitely like the same things to. You will never try to find out who that one guy is but you keep wallowing in your ignorance waiting for a miracle to happen.
You probably expect every man to want to take advantage of you because it happened to some people close to you. And they have hammered it in your ears that men will forever be after what’s underneath your skirt and never your heart. One man treated you badly and then you dump all the frustration you are feeling on your next. Maybe your next loves you enough to help you get over your ex. Or he doesn’t even want sex from as badly as you have imagined. Who knows maybe he is just a very good guy who loves you and then you push him away because you were too blind to see beyond your pains. And no matter how hard you think you are trying, you keep failing over and over again.
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How do you expect it to work when he likes meat but because you read somewhere that men don’t like meat, you keep stuffing him with fish. And then when he is tired of eating fish, he flees. Then you go, all men are the same. Of course, they are the same, isn’t that what your general knowledge and wrong lessons for your past experience taught you? Till you learn to treat a man as his own person, you may never find fulfillment in that relationship.
It is even funnier when guys imagine all girls want are flashy things, money and all those fake glittering gold. You have assumed every girl will fall at your feet if you spoil them a bit. Maybe she did not even see the cash, she saw the way you showed so much concern about her welfare and she fell in love with that man that was attentive to her need and not the man raining cash on her. Is it bad if you spend on her? You love her right, then you should see no wrong in spoiling or see it as a means to get her to sleep with you. We want love too, we want you to make us laugh and show us what it being her “Mr right” is. We want our friends to go green with envy at the way you treat us.
Don’t think because we seem to wear our emotions on our sleeves, we are foolish. We may have sex with you on the first night and that does not make us hoes. Just because we like good things doesn’t mean we will dig your gold-well like your ex(es) did. We want to be fought for, we want you to cross the ocean for us if that is what we need as an evidence that you truly love us. Waking up any day, thinking we are competing for your attention is the last thing we want. We want you to make us laugh and we want you to be our everything.
We want to flaunt your love, wear it as one very expensive gem, we don’t have to grovel or nag before we get you to have time for us. Some breakfast in bed, once in a while. We want surprise birthday parties and of course we want all those cakes and flowers and fluffy Teddy bears every valentine. But that is not the love we crave, so don’t think you know all about girls and then treat her as every other girl. Study her, pay attention to her. Girls are quite complicated yet very simple. It takes a heart that truly cares about a woman to know a woman.
The sum of all these is that nobody should be compared to the other. Till you’ve fully accepted that everyone is not the same person as the other, you will never get it right. If you are not ready to move on, stay by yourself and learn and conquer those pains. The worst thing you can ever do to your partner is to treat him or her as you had imagined they want to be treated.
What’s your general views about relationships? Do you agree with the point raised above? Join the discussion.
Written by Dako. A. Temitope