The holidays are a beautiful time to be coupled up, to feel loved and safe in a warm embrace but all that needs to be felt with someone who you truly love and not who you truly pity. Being in a relationship and feeling lonely makes already tough life miserable and you wouldn’t be the first person to realize that you need to break up while you’re home for the holidays. There’s something about the festivities and being with family that can shine a light on your relationship and make you realize that something just isn’t working anymore.
But it might seem a little too harsh if not wicked to break up over the holiday so we keep putting it off.
You have to bear it in mind that there isn’t any best time to break a bad news, so waiting for holidays to pass over before breaking the news will be as bad as breaking it on Christmas Eve so you might as well set your partner free on time. Trust me they will survive, they always do. This might sound very harsh, but life is too short to waste anybody’s time let alone remaining in a loveless union. YOLO!!
Obviously if you are in a long distant relationship you might really have to watch your timing before you break the news. You don’t have to let the cat out the bag as they are about to give you a welcome kiss, but do not allow it to linger. It is crueller to be in a relationship because you pity someone or because they got you a gift or even because you don’t want to be alone during the holidays. You wouldn’t want that for yourself, would you?
Remember, holiday is one of the perfect time to meet people so you do not tie yourself or your partner down just because you are afraid you just might end up lonely during the festive period. Here are some basic tips to remember while breaking up during the holidays.
DO IT IN PERSON.
Breakups should be done in person because that is just the right thing to do, but over the holiday you need to do it in person. Do not text or do it over the phone while your partner is with their family over the holiday. It is very apt that you give them opportunity to make a proper closure. So try to break up in person.
DO NOT MAKE A CONCESSION.
In the period of grief and closure, you might find out that your partner still wants you back or still wants you to attend a friend’s wedding together just so this person can save face to avoid people questioning your whereabouts. It might seem nice of you to agree just so you can embellish their ego, but I would recommend you to pass on the invite. You really don’t want to have an awkward ride to the event arguing about whose fault it was that the relationship crashed. Remember if you broke up with someone in April, they wouldn’t really be begging you to tag along with them to events. So don’t do it now! You would end up guilt tripping yourself all day.
- BE A LITTLE SENSITIVE THAN USUAL.
Unless this person was a complete scumbag (or even a midget of a scumbag) consider your timing. I know I said no time is a great time to break a bad news and you shouldn’t drag it out but still understand that holiday seasons are intense and this person might actually be going through some family stress. So timing is essential so that this person can easily cry and get back to daily routine before the bigger holiday moments. Always remember, no time is the best to break a bad news but while breaking bad news timing is essential.
SET RULES ABOUT CONTACT.
There is nothing more depressing than getting dumped during the festive seasons and getting a well-intentioned and strategic text like “Merry Christmas love” or “Happy New Year”. When you break up over the holidays, set some ground rules about communicating. It might seem like a ‘nice’ thing to do to tell your new-found ex that you are thinking about them but don’t do it. You might end up initiating a back and forth that might end up making you coerce back to compromising this person back into your life.
HOLIDAYS ARE NOT MAGIC.
Although it might feel like magic when you have festivities surrounding you so you don’t really have time to think about your recent break up, but this is just a pointer to remind you that holiday break ups hurt the most. Just like holiday won’t heal your broken partnership that is how it is not going to make the breakup easier. Breakups during the holiday is just like every other breakup just with Christmas tree and light in the background, so you might as well get done with it.
Bonus: YOU DON’T HAVE TO RETURN GIFT.
This may sound greedy or superficial but if you have exchanged gift prior to the break up, you don’t have to return them back. Unless you think it is not right or you want to get rid of it. But in general, gift is gift and it is yours to keep.
Have you ever had a break up during holiday? How did it go and how did your ex take it? Share with us.
Written by Ifeoma Lynda.